One of the greatest things about being single in San Francisco is that I’m blessed to be surrounded by an amazing circle of friends.  Aside from my occasional rants, I don’t really have much cause to gripe because I’m having such an incredible time.

Old friends, are of course the best.  I have two friends in particular that date back to my high school years.  The first, I’ll call M, the second M2.  M literally lives across the street from me and M2 is just a hop, skip and a BART away in Oakland.  There’s just something about having girlfriends around who’ve known you since you were 13.

Friends like these don’t judge.  They forgive.  They make you laugh when you want to cry.  They show up.  Even when you suggest that it would be a great idea to spend a naked weekend together in the woods…

Thought that might get your attention…

As you know, I frequently feel the need to get out of dodge for rest and relaxation.  Over President’s Day Weekend this year, I decided I needed to take an exploratory trip up to Harbin Hot Springs. I was looking for a spa experience that wouldn’t drain my bank account and that was down to earth and a bit rustic.

I won’t mince words.  Harbin is a naked, hippie retreat in the woods.

Of course, that’s not in the marketing materials.  If you visit their website, you will receive a more artfully worded description:

Harbin Hot Springs is simply a beautiful place to relax… over 5000 acres of privacy, surrounded by many more acres of undeveloped woodland. Our location in Lake County features the cleanest air in California.

Large soaking pools let you enjoy spring waters as they come from Mother Earth… very hot, soothingly warm, or breathtakingly cold.

… Sprawling sun decks — like the entire pool area — welcome sunning, soaking and swimming with or without swimwear.  And on cooler days, enjoy the warmth of our steam room or dry sauna.

During your stay you become part of our community, sharing meditations, soaks, meals and conversations with us. Many of our guests say this is the reason they return again and again.

It’s always the fine print. I love how they slip in “WITH OR WITHOUT SWIMWEAR” like it’s just another piece of information about just your normal, everyday retreat. Don’t be fooled, ladies and gents, Harbin is a lot of things, but normal, everyday it is NOT.

But lest you think I’m knocking it, let me tell you, I LOVE HARBIN.  It fully lives up to its promise.  It is a relaxing and renewing place, filled with warm and friendly people.

And no, I’m not a hippie, and these are not my people.  And that goes for M and M2 as well.  You see, we’re east coast girls.  East coast girls from the Northeast.  We’re from the land of the PURITANS.

Yes, the land of Hester Prynne and John Proctor.

We may have all adopted California as our home, but deep down we are NOT California “Gurls” by any stretch of the imagination.  No “daisy dukes, bikinis on top” for us.
[Of course, I must confess I love the song, as well as the accompanying video with Katy and Snoop. Click the link above if you haven't seen it already.]

I hate to say it, but the girls know it’s true… we’re prudes.

We don’t do naked.

We’ve all discussed the fact that nakedness in the womens’ locker rooms was a challenge for us when we all went away to college.  Despite all of the time we spent together at boarding school (and no, this post isn’t going down that road at ALL), we’ve never actually seen each other naked.  (At least I know I haven’t seen either one of them naked.)  I’m sure we’ve all relaxed some, but still…

TOTAL PRUDES.

Except, of the three of us, I think it’s safe to say that I’m considered the “adventurous” one (“adventurous” is their nice way of saying “CRAZ-ZAY.”).  I’m the friend that they love and fully support, but occasionally shake their heads and whisper behind my back when I’m not around.

‘Fess up girls, I know it’s true.

(It’s all right. We’re cool.)

Up until recently, my adventures have all been fully clothed.

However, since I firmly believe that being single presents a fantastic opportunity for growth and development, I issued a challenge to the girls to come join me up at Harbin one weekend.  I said it would be for rest and relaxation, but really, I just wanted to get them naked.

Ok, that didn’t sound right.  I don’t have any romantic designs on my best friends.  But acknowledging the fact that the three of us have grown leaps and bounds since high school, despite different life paths, I figured a naked adventure in a “safe” space, would be just the ticket.  Getting naked in public.  Just another milestone on the road to adulthood, right?

WRONG.  Yeah, they were like, “not so much.”  They agreed to accompany me but with the express agreement that they weren’t getting naked. “All right, all right.”  After all, I’d been to Harbin twice before and hadn’t taken off my clothes either.  At least I talk a good game.

The first time, I was just there taking everything in, I was escaping an extremely stressful week at work, and just wanted to chill.  The second time, up for a day trip to introduce M2 to the place, I admittedly chickened out from checking out the pools, but frankly, there’s so much to do up there (yoga classes, massages, hiking, exploring nearby Calistoga), that you could easily occupy yourself in other ways.

That’s the beauty of Harbin. You can make of it whatever you want it to be.   Above, I referred to it as a naked hippie retreat.  My tongue was firmly planted in cheek.  Next week, I’ll tell you about an experience there that may fully confirm your suspicions about the place, but honestly, it’s LOVELY.

Between the wild turkeys and deer running around, Donny, the cat, the trails, the stream-side campsites, the million stars you can see out at night, the peaceful library, the garden, the fresh, organic and delicious meals, the café, the market, the free yoga classes, the fountains, the lovely grounds… Harbin is really a beautiful place.  You certainly don’t have to get naked to experience its pleasures.

But I went ahead and did it anyway.

I’d been planning since the moment M and I drove out of San Francisco (unfortunately, M2 had to bail at the last minute to take care of “life” stuff that weekend).  M ended up coming up to the pools with me, but the circumstances almost qualified as duress.  You see, if you camp out, which we did, you have a choice of either showering outdoors or . . . showering outdoors.

I’d warned M in advance, and she was a good sport and seemed unfazed about showering (in a bikini) under the stars.  But after we received pretty fantastic Swedish massages in the spa, she decided a real shower was in order.  I’ve gone showerless for days on long camping trips, so I could’ve gone without, but secretly, I was glad because this provided an opportunity.  The closest showers (with half doors for a semblance of privacy) were up at the pools.  Yes, right by the NAKED pools.

“Perfect!” I thought.  I’d at least have company for my big reveal.

After dinner, and under cover of night, we headed up to the pools, which are open all night. (Note to adventurers: Bring your own towel.)  M stripped to her bikini.  I DROPPED TROU.

“My eyes, my eyes!” she kidded.

At least I think she was kidding.

It was exhilarating.  It was also weird.  Exhilarating to feel the warm night air on my skin.  Weird to walk around (bench to shower, shower to pool, pool to locker room) like nothing was out of the ordinary.  Weird to be a in a CO-ED dressing room and have a naked (but nice, not smarmy) older dude come up to help M try to get her locker unstuck when the key jammed.  (Of course the key would jam at a time like that.)  Weird to see a couple of fully clothed guys up there (and by weird, I mean UNCOOL) trying to mingle with the rest of us.  Cowards.

Jarring to see all the sausage and beans hanging out all over the place.

I’ll be honest.  We didn’t last long.  We tried the lukewarm pool but left fairly quickly.  We didn’t even see the hot and cold plunges, or conduct further exploration.  M saw “floaties” and we were kind of grossed out by the couple making out to our left and the dude doing upside down calisthenics to my right.  Trying to keep our eyes at head-level and above was a draining exercise.

Am I going to become a nudist? I don’t think so.  We both agreed that being naked didn’t actually feel like a big deal there.  People were pretty mellow. There were no giggles or shrieks of disgust.  There were no orgies.  The whole experience was pretty low key.  I might even be willing to try it again someday depending on circumstances.  A little vodka certainly would have helped.  Unfortunately (and understandably), Harbin is a dry campus.

People up there like to say that “no one cares” and it’s all peace and love.  But I’ll tell it to you straight. Anyone who tells you they aren’t looking is… a LIAR.

Verdict?  I came out of the experience thinking that I much prefer the general populace with clothes ON. If that makes me a prude, I guess I still have some growing up to do.

More on that next week…