It’s been such a while that I don’t know quite where to begin. If I’m being honest, I suppose I could start by saying that I’ve been holding out on you.  Yes, again. For starters, there’s a new guy who is wildly inappropriate for me that I have a major crush on.  There have been signs, yet it’s not entirely clear how he feels about it.  Still, I’ve felt super protective of “it” (and I’m not sure exactly what “it” is exactly yet) and haven’t really felt like sharing.

My big mouth has gotten me into trouble so many times and this particular thing I don’t actually want to screw up.  I mean, I know I’ll probably still somehow manage to do it eventually (I am the QUEEN of self-sabotage), but until then…

Mum's the word!

Anyway, I promise I will divulge more if things end up in flames, but in the meantime… a few updates, then a Bike Party recap!

Slim Jim: Several of you have asked me whatever happened with him.  Well, last time I checked, Facebook says that he’s currently off in Thailand on some sort of a master cleanse.  I’m not joking.  Kind of cool.  Kind of um…

We had this pretty great phone relationship going on, but somewhere along the way, I think we both lost that lovin’ feeling.  For me, it might have been at the moment when we became Facebook friends (which I’m starting to think is the death knell for any burgeoning anything).  He has like 1200 friends on Facebook, and about 1100 of them are women. Cue the alarm bells.

Then, we had this conversation where he basically told me that he was in a “me” phase right now. He said that he’d been in a long-term relationship for several years up until August, and then one lasting six months before that, so now, he felt that it was really time for him to focus on “his business.”  He said he felt really strong, and really confident and he just wanted to see how far he could take things.  With the business that is.

Men are so easy sometimes. He could have just said: “You know what, I like you, really I do.  And if you’re cool with a casual sex thing, then I’d be cool with that too. You shouldn’t however count on me for anything more than that because I’m thinking I’d like to explore my options, sleep around a bit…, you know?”

Sure, he would have had to finesse the message a little bit, but I would have understood.  Really.  It’s a totally legitimate place for him to be.  I get it.  I’m sure she broke his heart.  Men think that women can’t handle the truth, but we can.  Just be straight with us.  We can take it.

So where did we leave things? I called him a couple of weeks ago and he picked up immediately.  He said he was in the middle of a conference but didn’t want to let me get his voicemail.  Sweet.  Said that he would call me back in a couple of days, and that he really wanted to catch up with me.  He kept his word and called back. Except by then, it was a horrible time for me (I had a girlfriend in town and she was in the midst of a crisis), and I said that now I needed to call him back.

I’m ashamed to say that I never did.  I meant to, honest. It’s just that by that time, I happened to realize that whatever feelings of “like” I had for Slim Jim PALED in comparison to my feelings for the new guy.  And then, just like that, I didn’t feel like doing the phone tag thing anymore.  Maybe we will talk or see each other again, or maybe we won’t. I suspect our story isn’t over quite yet.  Either way, I think we’ll both survive.

As they say, timing is everything.

Random dates: By now, y’all know that I think online dating is bunk.

You can find another way to spend your money, no?

What that means is that I accept that there’s just going to be more lag time in between dates.  However, in the last couple of weeks I’ve been asked out by guys that I’ve actually known for a while and never suspected had a thing for me.  It’s been nice, but really kind of random.  Now I’m really starting to wonder about how much I know about the opposite sex.  Maybe I’m just one of those girls that has to grow on you??

This brings me to the real story for today— despite my very inconsistent dating habits, Mercury must be in retrograde or something because recently, the dates seem to keep falling out of the sky…

I just received the following text message from a guy I met at Bike Party, a guy who I’ll call “Cute Tech Guy:”

CTG:  “Hi [SFSG]! It’s [___] from the other night.  It was good meeting you and hope your tennis match went well. [Yes, after biking against ridiculous headwinds and up multiple hills, then dancing until 2:00 a.m., and then biking home afterwards, I had to get up to play a doubles match at 10:30 the next morning.] Just wanted to say hello!”

SFSG: “Hi CTG.  I lost! And was exhausted today. It was nice meeting you as well.”

CTG: “Awww, well you can blame [sic] for keeping you out late that night! I owe you a glass of wine. We should meet up again soon!”

Pretty smooth I have to say.  Smooth and very unexpected.

This guy was probably the most unlikely suspect for a future romantic interest ever.  Tall, good-looking and really nice yes, but still, pretty quiet.  No edge whatsoever.  Just goes to show that first impressions can be quite misleading.

I met him through mutual friends at some point during the freezing, yet super fun ride that wound its way from Justin Hermann Plaza, through North Beach past Fisherman’s Wharf, and then over to Fort Mason and then into the Presidio.  It was pretty exhilarating to be amidst a group of hundreds of bikers and riding through the city(with competing sound systems!) at twilight and then late into the night.  The pace was mellow and everyone was really good-natured and out to have a good time.

However, the freezing temperatures and winds were just a little extreme, so a group of about seven of us splintered off from the main group and decided to call it quits early.

We then lost a few more on the ride back up Polk Street as they peeled off to head in other directions, but in the end, four of us, including CTG, decided to stop in for food and drinks at the new Grove in Hayes Valley.

(The Grove might just be my favorite place to eat in San Francisco.  It has just the right mix of good food blended with a casual and comfortable atmosphere.  The fact that there are locations popping up everywhere is also a huge bonus.  My favorite items on the menu? A glass of Pinot Noir, paired with a grilled cheese sandwich—but with a special order of bacon and tomato on top!)

Don't forget the bacon!

Anyway, CTG and I didn’t actually speak to each other until pretty late in the night: 1) when we were trying to figure out how to lock our bikes together outside of the Grove; and 2) when I let him have a couple bites of my sandwich.  After that, we just sort of ended up hanging out at the next stop— fundraiser at Public Works in SOMA.  Again, he just seemed like a nice guy to me; I didn’t really notice any “vibes.”

Fast forward to the end of the night. Several of us are walking out in a group.  We’re saying good-byes and trying to figure out who we’re riding home with; he has to take a different route home, but walks up to me, and in front of everyone, asks for my number.

I have to admit, it was so out of the blue that I was taken aback. I guess I’m so used to hanging out in “urban tribe” mode here in SF.   Things seemed to get quiet all around.  Awkward!  For a quiet, “nice” guy, it was definitely a ballsy move, and I have to admit that I was very impressed.  It must have been the bacon.

By the time I fell into bed at home, I figured I’d read too much into the whole thing, and that he probably just wanted to keep in touch as friends.

I guess I still have a lot to learn.

Now might just be the right time to invest in that bike...

P.S. “Love on Wheels” is actually the name of an annual bike event in San Francisco sponsored by the San Francisco Bicycle Coalition.  I missed it this year, but have heard that it’s a ton of fun and hope to make it next year. Click here for more info.