Food for Thought
I will occasionally update this page with links to other articles on the single life that I find interesting…
Can Acting in Love Help You Stay in Love? (Huffington Post)
Interesting article. Some of the research bears out a recent experience of mine in the field: in the late fall, I attended a workshop on “Social Fluency” hosted at The Hub in San Francisco. In one of the group exercises, we were forced to stand SILENTLY, a few feet across from a stranger (same sex) and stare directly into their eyes for FIVE MINUTES. Initially, I was wildly uncomfortable, but I stuck it out and was surprised, in talking about the experience later with my “partner” that I did indeed feel more kindly towards her. We were then asked to practice sustaining eye contact from that time onwards (because most people avoid it like the plague), just to gauge our reactions. Later that evening, I practiced with a guy I was paired up with during another exercise. He was telling me some story about a time that he was embarrassed about something, and after gazing at him for quite a while, I found myself strangely attracted to him… Maybe not something to practice on MUNI, but it’s certainly food for thought.
All the “Nice” Guys Are Online. No, Really (Daily Mail)
Occasionally, I have male readers who drop in to read my posts and comment anonymously. I am flattered that they even take the time to read my drivel and really appreciate the extra attention. I will note however, that some of these men appear to have serious anger management issues, appear to not understand what the word ‘misogyny’ means, and are too lazy to look it up. If a girl is single, she must be ugly or a mental defective, right? Statistics about the rising numbers of singles of BOTH sexes be damned, beggars can’t be choosers and it’s time they PUT US IN OUR PLACE. “We,” including all female bloggers who have the nerve to publicly express our opinions, should all just shut the hell up already and take whatever we can get. And don’t forget to make sure your legs are shaved! Well ladies, I have a hot tip: you too can probably find yourself your very own Prince Charming compliments of OK Cupid and the Daily Mail…
Japan singletons hit record high (BBC News)
From the front lines in Japan… To these numbers all I have to say is… DAMN!
Record numbers of young Japanese do not have boyfriends or girlfriends, and many do not want one, according to a survey by the country’s government. Sixty-one percent of unmarried men aged 18 and 34 do not have a partner, nor do half of unmarried women the same age.
All the Single Ladies (The Atlantic)
From December 2011 to January 2012, I was sent this article by no fewer than 4 female friends, imploring me to read it. Truthfully, I never made it all the way through the entire article but the first part (as to the experience of knowing a ton of “ever single” girlfriends struggling with tough dating markets across geographic regions) sounded legit enough. I’ll try to commit to finishing the article someday (but part of me thinks, if I’m already living it, do I have to also read it?).
The End of Men (The Atlantic)
And while we’re on the subject…
Earlier this year, women became the majority of the workforce for the first time in U.S. history. Most managers are now women too. And for every two men who get a college degree this year, three women will do the same. For years, women’s progress has been cast as a struggle for equality. But what if equality isn’t the end point? What if modern, postindustrial society is simply better suited to women? A report on the unprecedented role reversal now under way— and its vast cultural consequences.
Stigmatised for being single: More women are choosing to live alone but they’re becoming irritated at being pitied and patronised by their married friends (Daily Mail Online)
Sketch source, but still. Someone had to say it.
10 Myths About Single People (Living Single Blog)
I love this woman. I’d hand out copies of this to every person I know if I could. Real talk through and through and a nice counterpoint to the piece directly below. Split up into three different articles: get Part 2 here and Part 3 here. Read it all, and then make a resolution to free your mind.
Why You’re Not Married (The Huffington Post)
Boy did I want to hate this one. Especially since it appears to be unfairly directed at women. But it’s funny. And, I hate to say it… probably true. Brace yourselves.
Single at Holiday Time? (The Singles Cafe)
Are you doomed to a miserable holiday if your relatives drive you crazy? What if you are just introducing your family to a serious date, someone who could be the One? Does Aunt Millie always cluck about what a shame it is that you are single or how your kids need a dad? Even if your family is a battlefield, or you are super stressed-out you can turn any holiday one of the best holidays you’ve ever had. Ten steps to holiday joy…
Loneliness (Psychology Today Blog)
What makes us happiest in life? Some people may point to fabulous fame and fortune. But, hands down, surveys show that friends and family are the real prize …
The High Price of Being Single (Psychology Today/ Living Single Blog)
“There are now nearly 96 million unmarried Americans 18 and older – 43% of the adult population. In every category that the reporters analyze, singles are shortchanged. Couples – whether gay or straight – who are offered car insurance, club memberships, vacation packages and anything else at a discounted rate are being subsidized by the singles who are paying full price.”
What’s With the Cat, and Other Questions about Singles and Their Pets
(Psychology Today/ Living Single Blog)
“I wonder why it is that single people – women especially – are so often cast as cat-crazy. Is it a way of attributing a cat-like caricature to singles – say, aloof and unsociable? Or maybe even a more flattering portrait of cool and unruffled independence?”
Mrs. America (Legal Affairs)
The search for “love” can take unexpected turns. Interesting read on mail-order brides: “Marriage is fraught with risk. Expectations shift over time, and even the luckiest of partners can get hurt. In the worst of circumstances, the injuries are physical as well as psychological. But if there is no compelling evidence that mail-order brides are in greater danger than anyone else, should Congress be regulating the industry with a heavy hand?”
Should States Abolish Marriage? (Legal Affairs)
Two professors duke it out: “Marriage comes with legal benefits, like the right to visit a partner in the hospital. . . But some people suggest that, instead, the state should do away with marriage as a legal category altogether and adopt a universal system of civil unions open to all couples, while leaving marriage to churches, mosques, and synagogues.”
I Don’t. The Case Against Marriage (Newsweek)
This one was like a swift kick to the gut: “If we tie the knot, does life suddenly become a maze of TV dinners, shoes up on the coffee table, and dirty dishes? The bottom line is that men, not women, are much happier when they’re married. Measurements of brain activity have shown that 20 years into marriage, 90 percent of couples have lost the passion they originally felt… couples who marry for love are less “in love” with each passing year...“ Thanks to the commenter who alerted me to this article. Provocative. Be sure to click on the picture to get the mind-bending stats. I need to sit and let this one percolate for a while but I’ll be girding up my loins to talk about this soon.
Generation Single (San Francisco Magazine)
“More than in any other metropolis in the United States, the men and women who settle in this part of the world are having a difficult time finding lasting love.” When I read this article about why dating in San Francisco is problematic, the clouds parted and I’m sure I heard the voices of angels singing. Instead of asking me why I’m still single, maybe save us both some time and just read this. Dated. But much truth.
Why Are You Single? Perhaps It’s the Choice Effect (The Blog of Tim Ferriss)
“It’s impossible not to constantly wonder if there’s something better, someone better.”
Fear Factor: On San Francisco’s Commitment Phobic Reputation (7×7)
“Are we so attached to the idea of being exceptional that we just can’t fathom settling—which would mean, in this case, settling down into the great ordinary mass of humanity? Is long-term love (as opposed to sex and romance) just too ordinary for San Franciscans?”
Single Women Buying Homes–The Phenomenon (Luba’s San Franciso Real Estate Blog)
“Past generations waited for Mr. Right to come along and give the poor helpless female financial security. But TODAY’S woman is ready to take her financial destiny into her own hands.”
The incurable new Bay Area Bachelor (San Francisco Magazine)
“Impossibly picky and increasingly desperate, singles from San Francisco to Silicon Valley have a new tool in their search for a soulmate: the 21st-century matchmaker. Natasha Sarkisian chronicles a yearlong quest to make one mixed-up man happy in spite of himself.”
© 2010-2013 Confessions of a Single Girl in San Francisco... All Rights Reserved